|
So, my job is going pretty well. I'm driving paint, caulking, contractor's grade masking tape, rollers, khakis and other painter paraphernalia around to contractor companies and private parties. I suppose our corporation is doing well despite the economy due to people trying to appraise their homes, foreclosures and the like. A lot of apartments are going up as well, but that's no surprise since real estate is in the shitter and people just can't afford house payments or other little financial attachments that come with leasing, maintaining or renting a home. There are a lot of products to know even though our store is the smallest in the state, but everyone is pretty laid back and willing to work with me.
I got the last four irritants for my list in case anyone is interested from of my last six list entries. They might be a little lacking because I've been busy, but here they are:
7. The Overly Impatient Customer - I know, I know, everyone gets impatient while in a checkout line or when waiting for a car to be finished with a repair or any thousand different types of waiting. However, and this is somewhat geared towards my experience with customers lately, the fact that people can be so arrogant and uptight because you have an issue with a discount or ringing them up or even scanning an item is so fucking annoying that you just want to grab the blatant disregarding little amoeba by his/her collar and ring them up your way with a "no sale" branded on their non-appreciative asses.
8. The Wrong-Way-Store-Door-Enterer - This particular scab is a little bit unorthodoxed because it's not necessarily anyone that you run into every day; more or less during the holidays or major sales. These grab bags of displeasure see fit to prepare for store entry by strolling up to the wrong automatic door, granted the store has an in/out automatic door entries, and push past you and the dozens of other people eager to escape the hordes of soccer moms and pussy whipped family men. Now, what sense does it make to go against the flow of the consumer current? You're only hurting yourself. Well, not only that, but you're pissing me and many others off by getting in our way for NOTHING. Go in the proper fucking doors. Just because the "out" door opens up first and you're nearer to it than the "in" door doesn't mean that you can stroll on in and mark yourself the designated irrtator of the day. If you come across behavior like this, block the exit and calmly explain to them why their IQ is equivalent to their shoe size then spit in their face...or faces if it's a rude family flock with no fucking sense.
9. The Coffee Enthusiast - I enjoy a good cup of coffee. It perks you up in the morning and with all the different types available now, you can relish in various tastes. I'm sure most of you live near Starbucks or some other variation thereof, but one thing that tends to stand out the most with these places are the douchebags that believe themselves to be so much of a coffee drinker that they place orders in such a condescending language that Juan Valdez would find disgusting. "I'll have a double-tall, salad-tossed, iced over 2% milk Grotto Blend with a side of espresso and a touch of macchiato." As the voices of these nerve-grating egos pierces your brain, the only thought going through your mind is how good it would feel to scald their faces with their pretentiously over-the-top order, pour a cheap bag of quik-stop coffee grounds down their throat and sew their mouths shut so that the last thing they taste before they choke and die is poetic justice.
10. The Roadside-Freeway-Beggar - Being homeless isn't any fun. I helped a friend of mine when he was on the streets and he told me stories of surviving by sneaking in gas station bathrooms just to sleep out of the rain and being mugged for shoes not even worthy of being chewed on by a dog. I sympathize greatly with anyone in those conditions, but I just can't stand one particular group of vagabond vermin anymore and it's these beggars that hold up signs by the road that read "homeless vet," "I am homeless," "Laid off and have family to support" or "Need money for food." Yes, lots of homeless people do that, but these folk, at least in my neck of the woods, stands shamelessly by freeway turn-offs just for added sympathy so the first thing you see after dealing with speeding dickheads, slow geezers or faggots that can't merge are these ragtag dredges of society that might not even be struggling at all! I've heard reports from various people, and people I personally know, that some folks just dress the part of looking pathetic and gain extra income that way. One of my friends told me that this one guy near our store that begs near an off-ramp used to be an accountant, but got tired of working for "the man" and is now bumming off of his friends and begging with his bullshit sign. Isn't that some fucking shit? Lazy work force people trying to ruin it for those who really don't have a fighting chance by essentially stealing money from hard working citizens simply because they hate working anymore. Three words, you sorry excuses for human beings: GO FUCK YOURSELF. We all hate our fucking jobs and the few that do love to work are wealthy enough to never have to work again. So, next time you see one of these upstanding members of the unemployed union standing around asking for a handout, gauge how homeless they really are and if they seem genuine, direct them to the nearest soup kitchen, but if they seem like they're full of shit, direct them to the nearest gangland or escort them back to your garage to offer them free euthanization.
|
Login
Register
FAQ
Search
